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  • #7507

    Chopper
    Participant

    ….in the interest of lightening this place up some…
    I kick it off with one from the British Isles.. =D>

    A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman are sitting in a bar in New York reminiscing about home.

    “Back in me pub in Glasgow,” brags the Scotsman, “fer every four pints of stout I order, they give me one fer free!”

    “In me pub in London,” says the Englishman,”I pay fer two pint’s o’ Guiness and they give me a third one free!”

    “That’s nuthin'” says the Irishman, “Im my pub back in Dublin, you walk up to the bar, they give the first pint fer free, the second pint fer free, the third pint fer free — and then they take you upstairs and you have sex for FREE!”

    “Is that true?” asks the Scotsman. “Has that really happened to you?”

    “Well, no,” says the Irishman, “but it happens to me sister all the time!”

    #63521

    PeanutsRevenge
    Participant

    It certainly damn well needs it Choppy old chap, and again you remind us why we put up with you around here…. incredible sense of timing for a really lame joke.

    Well actually you’re about 2 weeks late at best, but hey, you’re old, you’ve probably been typing it for 2 weeks 😀

    #63522

    Irishbandit
    Participant

    An Irish Funny….

    *Two women were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while, one looks at the other and says, ‘I can’t help but think, from listening to you, that you’re from Ireland ..’ The other woman responds proudly, ‘Yes, I sure am!’ The first one says, ‘So am I! And where about in Ireland are ya from?’ The other woman answers, ‘I’m from Dublin , I am.’ The first one responds, ‘So, am I!! And what street did you live on in Dublin ?’ The other woman says, ‘A lovely little area. It was in the west end. I lived on Warbury Street in the old central part of town.’ The first one says, ‘Faith, and it’s a small world. So did I! So did I! And what school did ya go to?’ The other woman answers, ‘Well now, I went to Holy Heart of Mary, of course.’ The first one gets really excited and says, ‘And so did I! Tell me, what year did you graduate?’ The other woman answers, ‘Well, now, let’s see. I graduated
    in 1964.’ The first woman exclaims, ‘The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same pub tonight! Can you believe it? I graduated from Holy Heart of Mary in 1964 me self!’ About this time, Michael walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a beer. Brian, the bartender, walks over to Michael shaking his head and mutters, ‘It’s going to be a long night tonight.’ Michael asks, ‘Why do you say that, Brian?’ Brian answers, ‘The Murphy twins are drunk again.’*

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